I get tired of hearing that Ed Wood is the worst director of All Time— I’ll sit through PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE Five Times vs one Viewing of PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1987) and that’s saying something. Wood wasn’t loaded with misplaced ego— he loved movies and he just wanted to tell stories, even if he didn’t have a major studio backing him or any funds to make something even remotely competent. Not competent but still entertaining— BRIDE OF THE MONSTER is equally goofy fun.
But let’s get back to CARPENTER. This guy, who had the arrogance to say Robert Altman is over-rated loves his own work so much he insists on doing the film soundtrack even though he shares the same musical abililty I have (which is none). You can press five different keys on a Casio but that doesn’t make you a soundtrack composer.
HALLOWEEN (1978) is probably his most famous film— and I’ll give you that I like the movie. It’s got plenty of flaws in it— some bad acting, and plot holes you could drive a truck through— but working with what they had it ended up being a pretty good film.
THE FOG had its moments, it falls apart at the end and either he ripped off Stephen King’s THE MIST or its the other way around.
MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN was a pretty good movie, it gets confused as to whether its a modern film noir drama or a comedy but I fault Chevy Chase for the misdirection, Carpenter himself hates this movie. Figures, they didn’t let him do the music.
THE THING (1981) is probably his best film- but I’ve heard for years that the cantankerous director didn’t actually direct much of it— and that' checks.
PRINCE OF DARKNESS was recommended to me by a good friend who happens to be a very well know cartoonist whose opinion I respect— so much that I plunked down $15 for it in Vudu— after I sat through it I called him and asked him for $15.
The movie is about a bunch of graduate students, all of whom look like they’re in their 40s, with a lead student who has one of those Marlboro Man moustaches everyone was making fun of behind their backs in the 1970s— I think Carpenter has one so I’m guessing he’s not in on the joke. As with most graduate students taking a science class at what looks like a Community College suddenly the Advent Associate Professor announces a weekend long field trip so they all pack their bags and head off to an old church to explore the basement. They discover an artifact that is somehow connected to both quantum physics and the evil that exists in another realm and unleashes it all onto humanity.
Boy that actually sounds like an interesting movie— too bad it’s not.
Carpenter’s cinematographer does such a poor job with scenes that should be shadowy (pet peeve of mine is when a character pulls out a flashlight in a room that is light so well you could do last week’s NY TIMES Crossword Puzzle without your reading glasses) are filmed like community theater where we can see every nook and cranny.
The actors, including the normally very competent Donald Pleasance, are stiff and wooden and I would be shocked if any of them every went on to anything more than a guest appearance on Supermarket Sweep. The movie plods along, Carpenter’s inept score attempting to build suspense, until we’ve run out of film or budget or both and it all ends with a big explosion.
For the record, I never got my $15 back— if someone wants to paypal me in the name of my friend feel free.