KOLCHAK PAPERS: Episode #6- FIREFALL

From IMDB: Kolchak discovers that the evil spirit of a murdered gangster who loved classical music is somehow incinerating his former enemies, while simultaneously trying to take over the body of a popular music conductor and live again.

Aired Nov 8, 1974 Directed by Don Weis, Written by Bill Ballinger

Regular Cast: Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin), Tony Vincenzo (Simon Oakland), Ron Updyke (Jack Grinnace), Miss Emily— sometimes Edith (Ruth McDevitt)
Guest Cast: Fred Beir, Phil Carey, David Doyle, Madeline Rhue, Virginia Vincent, Carol Ann Susi

This competes with UFO for most confusing episode, you’re going to have to pay attention during gthis one if you don’t want to be left behind. An avenging spirit becomes a doppleanger for a famous concert conductor after his car cuts off the spirit’s funeral procession. For some reason this doppelgänger is causing people to burst into flames.

In the 1970s there was a fascination with Bigfoot, Aliens, the Bermuda Triangle and Spontaneous Human Combustion— making you as a kid worry about more things than just the A-Bomb dropping on our heads, we were convinced a Bigfoot would snatch us and in absolute panic we’d burst into flame.

This is one of the creepier episodes even if its hard to follow the logic. The office staff is on hand, Monique is covering for Miss Emily who apparently also handles making the puzzles for the paper in addition to writing an advice column. Ron is there to annoy Carl and Tony gets worked up over Carl’s insistence that he’s following a doppelgänger who is causing these people to be found burnt to death.

The only safe place might be a church.

HOW’S THE MONSTER: The ghost effects are nothing special but when he’s peeking around corners or through windows he’s pretty creepy.

HOW’S THE SEASONED COP WHO HATES KOLCHAK: Philip Carey was a big guy who often played grisled hard boiled guys and that’s how he handles this one. He hates Carl as much as any of the other cops do.

Madeline Rhue’s Gypsy should have been in the Werewolf episode.

WHO ARE THE ODDBALL GUEST STARS: David Doyle is always a good addition, he is best known as Bosley on CHARLIE’S ANGELS. Carol Veazie is an upper crust neighbor with a little dog who is a witness to one of the murders. Madeline Rhue is a gypsy— and she’s looks and seems to be wearing the same outfit Valerie Harper wore when she played a gypsy on COLUMBO. There are a million connections to that show which I’ll explore someday. We learn from the gypsy that the spirit can only take your body if you fall asleep, although that doesn’t seem to explain a few of the victims, one of whom was driving and the other was swimming— two activities that don’t seem like ones to nap doing.

How about some dialogue:

Carl Kolchak: What happened to Mason? 

Sgt. Mayer: Isn't it obvious? The guy was smoking in bed. 

Carl Kolchak: I didn't see any ashtrays. 

Sgt. Mayer: That's his problem.

Overall it’s a confusing episode that’s hard to follow even if you pay close attention, but even weak Kolchak is still pretty good.

KOLCHAK RATING 4.0

NEXT: THE DEVIL’S PLATFORM, Kolchak get’s political.

KOLCHAK PAPERS: Episode #3- THEY HAVE BEEN THEY ARE THEY WILL BE (UFO)

ORIGINAL TITLE: THEY HAVE BEEN THEY ARE THEY WILL BE… This episode is also known as UFO.

Aired Sept 27, 1973 Directed by Allen Baron

Written by Rudolph Borchert and Dennis Clark.

From IMDB: Kolchak connects a string of bizarre thefts committed by a powerful invisible entity that targets metal deposits to a string of suspicious animal and human deaths connected by the fact that the victims' bone marrow is missing.

Len Lesser and Darren McGavin face an alien attack.

The third episode in the series is one you’re probably going to have to watch more than once— there are some misfires in it including a strange slow motion sequence when the unseen monster first strikes. It feels odd and unbalanced but that plays into the overall episode about aliens and government coverups. This episode is one of the most obvious examples of its influence on Chris Carter when he would create THE X-FILES some twenty years later.

ODDBALL CHARACTERS; (this episode is loaded)

Mary Wilkes

There are some prime Kolchak highlights including a cameo by Dick Van Patten as a man who finds UFO goop on his front lawn (listen for his call in to a radio show where he talks about his grandfather falling in it) and a scientist role for Mary Wickes who spent part of the 40s sparring with Abbott & Costello and she shows those same comedy chops here. She’s the quasi Kolchak Gal Friday in this episode but she’s less involved than some of the other ones.

Monique is back and this time she’s taken over for Mail Boy as the office darkroom technician, she’s got a good scene with Carl in the INS Bathroom/Darkroom. She’s a really great addition to the office and its a shame that she only has three appearances in the series as a new producer will be coming in and decide she doesn’t make the cut very soon.

Fritz Feld provides Vincenzo’s gourmet meal.

A sub-plot running through the episode is the World Series in which the Cubs are playing the Red Sox- and lifetime baseball fan Kolchak wants nothing more than to get to the game with a ticket provided to him by Ron Updyke (after some convincing) who is filling in as Sports Editor at the news organization, but the UFO story is getting in the way, there’s a clever bit where the radio reception is messed up so Carl can’t even listen to the game— obviously a result of our alien invasion.

Carl’s boss Tony Vincenzo (Simon Oakland) is at the top of his game enjoying a gourmet meal he’s won in a World Series bet with a rival editor. Fritz Feld has a small role as the waiter that brings the exotic meal to Vincenzo, Feld was in literally thousands of TV Shows and one of his trademark moves was to make a popping sound by smacking his mouth with his hand— he often played fancy French waiters and that’s his role here.

Dick Van Patten talks about black goop on his lawn.

Len Lesser has a small role as a policeman, his name might not instantly be familiar but he was a veteran character actor who had appeared in many TV series including BATMAN and THE MONKEES but he’s best known as Jerry’s Uncle Leo in SEINFELD.

Carl’s visit to Gordie The Ghoul adds a level of dimension as we meet Gordie’s boss, the upright and proper Stanley Wedemeyer played by Rudy Challenger who was also well known to TV audiences of the time. Personally I think they should have just had him play Rudy Challenger because that’s a great name.

Phil Leeds and the UFO Support Group

Phil Leeds is another well known character actor who has a great role here as the head of a UFO Abduction Support Group which itself is made up of some very unique folks each of whom have their own story of Alien abduction.

HOW’S THE MONSTER: Uh, is there a monster? Not sure what we’re looking at but sometimes that’s the best way to handle these episodes.

James Gregory’s Police Captain.

HOW’S THE SEASONED COP WHO HATES KOLCHAK: James Gregory was General Ursus in Beneath the Planet of the Apes, and the Inspector on BARNEY MILLER— he’s great here too, although he doesn’t seem to hate Kolchak so much as just dislike him. Gregory has a great presence.

KOLCHAK EXCERPT: (After Carl reluctantly accepts an assignment from Tony)

KOLCHAK: If that press bus leaves without me…agreed?

VINCENZO: You know the time schedule, you’ve got a watch, what do you want from me?

KOLCHAK RATING: 3.5 - I used to really dislike this episode but if you really pay attention to it you’ll get what they were trying to do and you’ll also see how X-FILES Creator Chris Carter was heavily influenced by this show. Carter even cast McGavin in two episodes of THE X-FILES— initially trying to get him to play Kolchak again, instead the character was lightly disguised as an ex-FBI agent.

NEXT: The Vampire Sequel to the first movie.

The Films of Wes Anderson

Wes Anderson can be a polarizing figure— you either like his movies or you find the kitschy characters and sometimes oddly artistic settings not your thing. I love his movies, at least most of them. I’ve not seen them all but of the ones I have seen I’ve either really liked them or loved them with the exception of ISLE OF DOGS which I didn’t like at all.

Here, without further introduction, is a complete list of Anderson’s films with a brief thought as to my opinion of them (because you should care for some reason I will never understand);

1996- BOTTLE ROCKET - His first film and one I wasn’t crazy about. I found the storytelling jarring and while there were elements of what would later be hallmarks to his films there was not enough to keep me engaged.

1998- RUSHMORE - His first home run about an over achieving high school kid who can’t get a decent grade to save his life because all of his passion is in extra curricular activities. Bill Murray is brilliant as a millionaire friend of the lead.

2001- THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS - I loved this one, having just seen it recently. Gene Hackman is positively brilliant as a “Son of a Bitch” who tries to make amends with his family. The entire cast is outstanding and Pagoda is my absolute favorite character (played by a guy who was a coffee barista at Anderson’s favorite coffee shop before becoming a mainstay in his films).

2004- THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU - Bill Murray is the title character who leads a Jaques Cousteau style life on the high seas. Bill Murray makes for a great action hero.

2005- THE SQUID AND THE WHALE- I have never seen or heard of this one. I’ll add it to my list. Anderson tends to use the same actors in a lot of films, this one has a totally unique cast— that’s either good or bad.

2007- THE DARJEELING LIMITED - Loved this one too. Three brothers make a trek across India to find their mother who is living as a nun in a convent. Beautiful art direction.

2009- FANTASTIC MR FOX - Animated film. I’ve not seen it.

2012- MOONRISE KINGDOM - It’s got it’s flaws. Bruce Willis is always great, but he’s also someone who is too cool for school no matter what he does and that makes him a hard fit in Anderson’s quirky worlds. Still a great coming of age story.

2014- THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL - I think this was the first Anderson film I saw and it’s an absolute favorite of mine. Should have won the Oscar and maybe it did, I don’t follow that garbage.

2014- SHE’S FUNNY THAT WAY - I’ve never heard of this one, don’t know how he made two movies in one year, but the IMDB rates it the lowest of all his movies so we’ll have to see.

2018- ISLE OF DOGS - I love dogs, I love Japan, I should have loved this. I didn’t. I didn’t find the characters or the story engaging. I kind of hated it.

And that’s it for now, although he’s got more in the works. Give them a try if you’ve not seen them and see what you think. Your local library carries all or most of them.

Delivery Companies-- who is the BEST?

Let’s face it Jeff Bezos has spoiled us— he built a company out of a garage on the premise that if you want something and you have to order it for delivery that you’ll have it in two days or less. Most of us dinosaurs can remember the days of mailing a check to some ad on TV and then waiting 6-8 weeks for the cheap junk to arrive. Jeff took this concept and said NAY NAY. We can do better. And he did. Sometimes we get our cheap junk THE SAME DAY.

That’s impressive.

Not quite as impressive is everyone else who moves packages from Point A to Point Z with “tracking” so we can follow along. Here then are my thoughts on the best and worst shippers out there.

#1 - USPS - as hard as it is to imagine a service run by the government, albiet in a strictly hands off government way— gets the top spot. If you send something PRIORITY MAIL it is very likely going to arrive in a timely fashion and in one piece. They have flaws. I’ve had occasions where something is listed as arriving on the following day and when you check it’s location its so far away it’s impossible. By the same token I’ve had cases where that exact thing happened and IT DID arrive.

I’ve also had AWAITING ITEM jump right to being in my mailbox before anything else is even updated. So despite a few hiccups the USPS is the way to go.

#2 - DHL Express— I don’t know how they do it but they get a package to me from Japan in three days.

#3- FEDEX AIR - make sure its air. It’s a distant third, it still gets items where it needs to go but they’ve fallen a long way from when they were the dominant mover of packages. They don’t update tracking barely at all, and it’s willy nilly when you might actually see your item.

#4- UPS Not Ground - whatever they call this— UPS is a distant fourth from Fed Ex’s third place — for a number of reasons, not the least of which is sometimes they deliver at 9pm. Tracking is worse than FEDEX and often estimated delivery days are off by a week.

#5 up— all the rest— because UPS GROUND, FED EX GROUND and the rest might as well say “Good chance your package is going to arrive in a month or not at all”. That’s not much of an exaggeration. I always grown when a shipper chooses this option and when I’m buying something myself I ALWAYS choose Priority Mail because the $4-$8 I save is worth it over the hours I’ll spend for the next month trying to figure out when the item I bought is going to arive.

Bond Tuesdays...ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969)

ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE is probably Ian Fleming’s most complex Bond yarn— keep in mind the novels are not great literature, they are pulp level action stories— but this one attempts to give Bond some depth and the film-makers for the first time stay closer to the source material than simply the title and minor plot elements and characters. Where they went wrong is mainly the tongue in cheek attitude that would hamper the franchise from this point until Daniel Craig’s turn as 007 forty years later.

Sean Connery seemed bored in the last film and he was, enough was enough and he decided to walk away from the role that had made him famous. A desperate casting call went out and the role eventually went to Australian model George Lazenby, who looked a lot older than his real age of twenty nine. Lazenby isn’t bad, but he’s not Connery and that might be the biggest flaw with the film, although by this time Connery wasn’t Connery either (and we’ll see this in the next film).

Telly Savalas is an interesting choice as Blofeld, who we last saw portrayed by Donald Pleasance. Savalas has a surprisingly strong screen presence but he’s so American and seemingly uncultured he doesn’t fit what we’ve come to think of as Blofeld.

The real win here is Diana Rigg fresh off her cult star status on BBC’s THE AVENGERS, following in the footsteps of Honor Blackman who left an earlier incarnation of the British Spy show to be the Bond girl in GOLDFINGER. Rigg is the strongest Bond girl to date, without throwing spoilers on a fifty year old film, and attains the highest level any Bond girl has ever achieved.

It’s got a great score, the first one without any lyrics, and it doesn’t need it, and a couple of really great ski chases as well as the only sled chase I can recall in the series. But it’s got it’s share of ridiculous parts notably Lazenby’s disguise as a Scottish Nobleman complete with kilt and a badly dubbed accent. But overall it’s a uptick in a series that was on a downward slide.

James Bond will be back (but Lazenby won’t) in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

• BOND: George Lazeny isn’t Sean Connery, but he’s better than Roger Moore and everyone after him until Danny Craig ****

• THEME MUSIC: The series highpoint. *****

• VILLAIN: If we hadn’t met Blofeld in the previous entry, Telly Savalas would have been better served, but he’s probably the most seriously threatening Bond villain in the franchise history ****

• OVERALL BOND RATING: 9.2 Get over Connery’s absence and embrace Diana Rigg. ****

FREELANCER GUiDANCE: Don't Give Up.

REMINDER that FREELANCE GUIDANCE runs on Mondays— I’ll kep things going— albiet not quite as formal as the numbered entries.

Sometimes in Freelance and basically anything else you need a kick in the pants to get you back on track.

Let's say you want to lose weight;  you need to make a decision - eat less or exercise more.  Preferably a combination of both.  I've a good friend who needs to lose one hundred pounds.  You read that right-- one hundred pounds.    Some of you read that and say "oh man!  a hundred pounds!" others read it and say "oh man!  I wish I only had to lose a hundred pounds!"

Because that's the thing-- no matter where you are in life there are people who are going to be in front of you and in back of you.  No matter your career, your personal life, your weight, your health, you will always have people who are in better shape than you and worse.

You can sit and feel bad at where you are, you can look and feel jealous at the people who are in front of you or you can just knock it off and get to work and move closer to your goal.

YOU MAKE EXCUSES OR YOU MAKE PROGRESS << That's how it is.  The vast majority of the world makes excuses and that's why the vast majority of the world is overweight, works in a job that they hate, is in a relationship that has long since perished

It's easier to do nothing than to fail.

But you don't fail unless you give up.  You might have setbacks, you might have slip ups, but as long as you don't give up you don't fail.

Remember this goes for anything you're trying to accomplish-- you set your goal and you go after it, you start hard and you give it your all.  A bit of time goes by and you pull back, either due to becoming worn out or lack of results and pretty soon you stop.

YOU need to recognize that first feeling to quit is coming and get past it-- don't stop.   Keep at it, because the goal is more important.  You will see results if you stick with it.  Get whatever support you can, and recognize that any effort towards the goal is worthwhile.

KOLCHAK PAPERS: Episode #2- The Zombie

Aired Sept 20, 1974

Directed by Alex Grasshoff

Written by David Chase and Zekail Marko.

IMDB SUMMARY: Carl follows up on a series of murders where key figures in the Chicago numbers racket are turning up dead, their spines snapped by someone with incredible strength. The body of a murdered numbers runner keeps turning up at the scene of each crime, and Kolchak soon learns that someone is using voodoo to gain revenge on the criminals in the form of a murderous zombie.

Monique knocks over Carl’s coffee which he’s not supposed to have in the office.

With the second episode Kolchak has found his legs. We have all of the trappings down now and we’ve expanded the base cast with the addition of intern Monique (played by Carol Ann Susi who would go on to play the unseen mom in THE BIG BANG THEORY) who here is the niece of the owner of INS news service who has forced Bureau Chief Tony Vincenzo to give her a job. She becomes a semi regular in the series and rounds out the oddball cast.

Carl calls on Gordie the Ghoul

This episode introduces another semi regular, Gordon Spangler aka Gordie the Ghoul played by John Feidler who is better known for his appearances on THE ODD COUPLE and for being the voice of Piglet in Winnie the Pooh. Gordie runs a lottery based on the birthday of the corpses he’s charged to watch over. He acts as an informer in his appearances.

“What’s a Kolchak?” The Mob discovers Carl eavesdropping on their meeting.

The oddball supporting cast goes full tilt in this one, besides the aforementioned Monique and Gordie, we’ve also got a pair of Italian Mafia bosses who throw around some Italian babbling which is laugh out loud funny, played by veteran actors Joseph Sirola and Val Bisoglio.

Sweetstick

Sweetstick Weldon is their black gangster competitor played by Huggy Bear from STARKSY AND HUTCH Antonio Fargas.

Scatman Crothers plays a voodoo shop owner and numbers runner who leads Kolchak to the person behind the Zombie, who, by the way is played by a former NFL lineman Earl Faison who stood 6’5” and weighed 260lbs.

The Monk is a secondary informer who has no lines but meets Kolchak in a dark alley to give him information. The character’s face is never shown. Ben Frommer played the character.

Mentioned but never seen for the length of the series is Charlie Creech, who is the obituary writer for INS and Kolchak reveals that the last time Vincenzo asked him for a favor it was to fill in for Charlie who was off on “one of his benders”.

J. Pat O’Malley as the county grave digger reveals all to Carl Kolchak

Lastly J. Pat O’Malley is the grave digger and you’ll know him from many Disney films.

KOLCHAK EXCERPT: The mob catches Kolchak easedropping on them when his tape recorder malfunctions;

Mobster Friese: (Holding Kolchak by his neck) It’s a Kolchak.

Mobster Sposato: What’s a Kolchak?

Mobster Friese: He’s a reporter.

Kolchak: That’s right Mr Sposato, I’m a reporter for INS.

Mister Sposato: What’s an INS?

Carl resists Tony’s charm in trying to convince him to take Monique on a story with him.

HOW’S THE MONSTER: Wow. Great job on the Zombie here. Probably the best makeup in the series.

Captain Winwood Hates Carl.

HOW’S THE SEASONED COP/AUTHORITY FIGURE WHO HATES KOLCHAK: Captain Winwood (Charles Aidman) might hate Carl more than any other cop in the series. He seems to have a more personal hatred, and Aidman was well versed at playing seasoned cops.

A middle of the night call to Captain Winwood’s office to bail out Carl finds Tony in his slippers.

Interestingly this is one of the few episodes without Ron Updyke.

Despite no Ron, this one ranks a perfect

This one hits on all cylinders. This one is a serious contender for BEST EPISODE of the series. The monster is great, the characters are great and there are plenty of great Kolchak/Vincenzo bits.

NEXT up: The Longest Title in a Kolchak Episode