STRAIGHT TALK: YOU NEED TO SHOWER.






Here's the deal- please feel free to forward this to that person you know who needs to read this, in case you don't have it in you to tell them yourself.  Tell them it's funny-- or "wow isn't this so true!" in the guise of giving them a hint.

I'm nothing if not direct, but even I don't like the uncomfortable task of telling a friend they need to shower.  I personally think you should already know this, but for some of us it's becoming increasingly apparent that the knowledge is nowhere near as common as I think it is.

In fact-- in my inner circle-- I have three very good friends who need to shower, or need to shower more.    In one case I think it's a matter of not enough free time in the day-- they accomplish a lot everyday, stay up late and probably oversleep a lot causing them to rush out skipping "time wasters" like showering.   A little cologne will solve it!

No, no it won't.

Listen, maybe your mamma's didn't get this instilled into you.  Maybe you didn't go through Marine Bootcamp where it's beat into you, maybe you just think you're the exception to this simple rule:

YOU NEED TO TAKE  A SHOWER (with Soap and Shampoo) EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Now most of us read this and say "No duh? Who the hell does he think doesn't know this?"  But then there are a few of us reading this saying "Well, this doesn't apply to me.  I don't shower everyday but it's no big deal, I smell fine BECAUSE NOBODY SAYS OTHERWISE."

And that dear friends is the trouble.    Bottom line-- yes it does apply to you.  The reason nobody is saying anything to you?  Two possiblities

1. They are being nice.  No one likes to have this conversation.
2. They don't shower either.  

See the thing is whoever put humans together-- whatever your belief of how we came to exist on this planet here-- they granted us one great ability which is equal parts flaw-- the inability to smell our own FUNK.

When we shower, we wash away bacteria, fecal matter (yup), dandruff and dead skin-- all things that smell.  The ONLY way these things leave our body is to wash them off in a shower with soap and shampoo.

I'm also going out on a limb here-- you need to wash your clothes too.  No sniff test-- no "I think I can get one more day out of these."  No you can't.  Wash 'em.  Don't want to wear out your favorite pair of jeans?  Freeze 'em then.  Yup-- put them in the freezer overnight-- let them freeze, take them out and let them thaw-- it will kill 90% of the germs on your pants and you can reduce the number of times they actually go through the wash.

So my friends, trust me, you need to shower.  It's not an option.  If you didn't shower today you smell.  If you ask someone if you smell there is less than a 33% chance they are going to tell you the truth.