BULLYING: A Follow Up



Last year I wrote a few paragraphs on bullying and I got a lot of response to it.  The vast majority were of this variety;

"I found your post when I was looking for help and I thought-- it can't be as simple as this.  I'd been toremented by the same kid since 6th grade and I thought it would never end.
Last month, he pushed me against a fence, and it was a push too far, without thinking, but with your words in my head I popped him in the nose and he stumbled back with a look on his face that I will never forget.

The bullying stopped and I just want to thank you."

"My husband showed me your post when we were looking for advice to help our son with a first grade bully (first grade!).  I was appalled that you suggested violence as we advocate discussion but to be honest I was at my wits end and agreed to go along with your suggestion.

Today picking up my son from school he was a different person.  Gone was the little boy who hated school and what came out was a kid with new pride in his step.  When I asked him what happened he said today when the other kid tried to take his lunch he punched him "in the nuts" and ran away.

I still don't like the idea of fighting but I want to thank you."

And a few were like this;

"Fighting is never the solution, as Jesus teaches we should turn the other cheek."

To the first two commenters you're welcome.  I know of what I speak because I grew up in an environment where knowing how to fight was part of survival.  I'm sorry that upsets some of you, but I live in the real world.

I live in a world in which I don't hide under the bed with my cell-phone desperately calling 911 because I think someone might be trying to break into my house-- instead I race down the front door and up the back stairs with the full intention of making this person regret their decision.

I live in a world where the bad guys call 911 because they need to get away from me (I've had that happen-- someday I'll write about it).

Does that make me a tough guy?  Nope.  I'm deathly afraid of spiders.  I will leap out of a moving car tossing gasoline and matches back behind me in an effort to kill said spider.  If spiders had gone the evolutionary route of the alligator I would likely have died by fright years ago.

But I won't get pushed around.

As for the advice of Jesus, sorry, I'm a buddhist.  They teach us to exist in peace and harmony provided that is how we are being treated, and if not, then we unleash the wraith of Ninja Monks to kick the asses of our enemies-- or something like that-- I'm not a very good buddhist.

Turning the other cheek might be great in theory and I believe Karma rights a lot of wrongs in the universe, but if you slap my cheek fully expect retaliation.

Sean Connery in the Untouchables said it best.

"You send one of ours to the hospital, we send one of yours to the morgue."